“Yes comes right away, No never comes”, is a phrase I learned from Gretchen Rubin. I’m a believer in her “four tendencies” and reading her books has helped me understand myself (I’m an obliger, btw).
I'm a fan of Gretchen Rubin, too. I'm an obliger but with a not-inconsiderable streak of rebel at times. Her rebel's motto has stuck with me: "you can't make me, and neither can I." Lol
LOL at that motto!! I'm chronic obliger. If someone else isn't cracking the whip, I'm not doing it. It makes things hard. But recognizing it really did change my life - knowing I need to work with it, instead of saying "I have no willpower" and feeling useless.
Yes. I really like the approach of understanding myself better rather than using these labels to define myself. So now I can recognize when my inner rebel is reacting to something, and I can *think* about it and take my you-can’t-make-me tendency into account. Instead of feeling that rebellious feeling and assuming it’s 100% justified.
I sympathize. I had an experience like this recently with a couple pieces I submitted somewhere.
I'm a fan of Gretchen Rubin, too. I'm an obliger but with a not-inconsiderable streak of rebel at times. Her rebel's motto has stuck with me: "you can't make me, and neither can I." Lol
LOL at that motto!! I'm chronic obliger. If someone else isn't cracking the whip, I'm not doing it. It makes things hard. But recognizing it really did change my life - knowing I need to work with it, instead of saying "I have no willpower" and feeling useless.
Yes. I really like the approach of understanding myself better rather than using these labels to define myself. So now I can recognize when my inner rebel is reacting to something, and I can *think* about it and take my you-can’t-make-me tendency into account. Instead of feeling that rebellious feeling and assuming it’s 100% justified.
This is one of the more inspiring posts I've read in quite a while.
This is a trove of emotional intelligence! I've just had some epiphanies making sense of some things I've noticed about life in other contexts.